


Gentle Heart

by icandrawamoth



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Alphabet Squadron Series - Alexander Freed
Genre: (mostly?), Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Pre-Slash, ProtectWylLark2kForever, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 05:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20595731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth
Summary: Wyl is shaken the first time he experiences a death in Riot Squadron. Sonogari lends his support.





	Gentle Heart

It’s dark and so quiet in the barracks. Only the sound of Wyl's squadmates’ soft breathing as they sleep breaks the silence.

Everyone is sleeping except for him. He can’t get thoughts of what happened today out of his mind. He’s never seen someone die before, and he’s not sure how much more he can take.

“Wyl?”

He winces at the quiet word. Seems he’s not the only one still awake after all. It’s Sonogari's voice from the next bunk over.

“Yeah?”

“I can hear you tossing and turning.”

Wyl doesn’t know what to say. He’s not cut out for this sort of thing. He wants to go Home, but just imagining the shame that would bring makes him shiver.

“I can't sleep,” he admits.

“You're thinking about Braitsen.” It's not a question.

“I can't get it out of my head,” Wyl admits. He doesn't even consider lying. “The way she screamed...” He shivers. “I knew death was a possibility for us, but I guess I never realized it could be like that.”

There's silence in the barracks for a long moment, and Wyl fears he's said too much, but then Sonogari shifts, the noise of his bedclothes rustling seeming loud in the quiet, and holds up one corner of his Alliance-issued gray blanket. “Get over here.”

Wyl goes. Seconds later, he's snug under the blanket, Sonogari's warm body pressed comfortingly against his, an arm draped around his waist. Wyl hadn't even realized he'd been shivering until it stops.

It takes him a moment for the situation he's entered to fully coalesce in his mind, and when it does, he freezes.

“I'm not trying to make a move on you, Wyl,” Sonogari assures him. He huffs softly. “Not that I'm closing that door if you're interested in it being open, but not tonight.” A quiet sigh blows warm against Wyl's neck. “I remember what it was like when I joined this Rebellion,” Sonogari goes on. “I was alone, and I was overwhelmed. I didn't have anybody there for me.” His arm moves a little, his hand flattening against Wyl's chest. “I want to be here for you.”

Wyl takes a shaky breath. This all so much. The reality of Sonogari holding him, the mention of a door he's certainly interested in keeping open, the earnest offer of support. He's trembling again, just a little.

“I'm sorry,” Sonogari murmurs, and when he makes to move away, Wyl's heart spikes with panic.

He grips his arm, keeping him in place. “It's okay. I...I appreciate it.” After a moment, Wyl ventures, “It was like this sometimes back Home – on Polyneus.” The memory rises warm and familiar in his mind. “A bunch of kids would just cuddle up in a pile and fall asleep wherever they landed.” He smiles a little despite himself, remembering many of those nights with his siblings both blood and village kin.

“Your world is so different from mine,” Sonogari says, snug against him again, and Wyl feels relief. “I was always taught that where you come from doesn't matter. Birthplace is barely a concept for us. It's the people you make connections with that are your real home.”

_Then my home is right here in this bed,_ Wyl thinks, and he smiles again.

“I miss it,” is what he says aloud. He hesitates, then admits, “I didn't want to leave.” Even quieter, “It's my duty, and I want to do what's right, but I'm not a fighter.”

Sonogari snorts quietly. “You kidding? I saw you out there today. And all the other days. Hells, you've flown, what, three missions, and you're already an ace?”

Wyl's lips twist. “That's not what I mean.”

Sonogari's hand moves, trailing prickles across Wyl's skin before fingers tap his chest right over his heart. “You mean in here.”

“Yeah.”

Sonogari sighs again. “Most of us aren't, you know. We're all peace-lovers at heart. But we know what we have to do. That the galaxy needs us.”

“Exactly. It's just hard.”

“I understand. It's nothing to be ashamed of, Wyl. In fact, I respect it.” He can practically hear Sonogari's smile. “I hope you stay that way. I don't want to see you hurt, but I hope you never grow hard to it.”

Wyl hears the silent _like I have_ in his words.

“I don't want to,” Wyl tells him, “but how do you cope if you don't?” His voice sounds bleak even to his own ears. How does a person deal with pain like this day in and day out and not just...break?

Sonogari pulls him a little closer. “You saw the funeral. The drinking and storytelling. That's how we celebrate our fallen. We mourn, we lay them to rest, and we move on. When it happens again, we do the same. We keep fighting, and we have faith that one day we'll win, and no more of us will have to die.”

Wyl squeezes his eyes closed, imagining a string of such days stretching out in front of him. How many funerals will he see? How many stories will he hear? Will be telling Sonogari's one day while his body floats fragmented in space somewhere? Will Sonogari be doing it for him?

“You also have to try not to dwell, Wyl,” Sonogari tells him quietly. “It'll eat you alive if you let it. Focus on your flying. Enjoy your life as much as you can. Don't be afraid to make friends.”

“Or more than friends?” Wyl's surprised at himself for saying it, but he doesn't take it back.

Sonogari's lips brush Wyl's neck with his next words, faintly enough that it could be an accident. “Or more than friends.” There's a pause, quiet settling in around them, not uncomfortable, but calm. “And sleep. You need that to be at your best. To give yourself the best chance of surviving. You're not alone, Wyl. You've got Riot. You've got me. Now, rest.”

Wyl lets his eyes flutter closed, allows himself to relax in Sonogari's arms. Tentatively, he lays a hand atop Sonogari's where it still rests over his heart, the beat there stuttering when Sonogari twines their fingers.

He still hurts. He's still afraid. He still doesn't know how he'll manage. But he's still determined, too, to do the right thing, to help win this war, to return Home as soon as he can. If he has friends and, maybe, maybe, someone to love, even with the risk of losing them along the way, that just makes it more worth it.

Wyl falls asleep with Sonogari pressed warm against him and hopes for many such nights to come.


End file.
